Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Night Time Struggles

In the day, it's phone calls, discussions, meetings, walking purposefully down carpeted corridors.

Evening - dinner, conversation. Making a fuss of the cat.

Night - reading, studying, struggling to make sense of something almost somewhat like another world, yet it is fundamental in a sense to what I do every day. Makes no sense, what I just said.

This entire LNG business is mind-boggling to me right now. Far away am I from Double Diaphgram pumps and Motor Operated Valves and Construction barges, I am in Tokyo Gas and Sorbanne and Oxley, 20, 30-year contracts, billions of dollars of transactions in words. It's endlessly fascinating, but so different from my day job I feel like I'm drowning.

So back to work it is then.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Raising the Brownie

My day went a little rough today. I'd rather not go into details of what happenned, but perhaps say that this could be the beginning of a bad relationship. I lost a little respect for someone, he on the other hand probably doesn't feel too good about me either.

But HEY, life's like that, no?

On days like these, I exercise to relieve some not-so-well-bottled up tension. My voice is higher and louder when I speak. I hug my cat and tell him I love him.

And that's why I feel like baking. Something oozy, gooey, chocolatey, totally sinful. Or perhaps something tangy and lemony and refreshing.

Measuring, Stirring, Sifting, biting into cake or brownie.

So let's lift our slices or brownie or little lemon cakes in toast.

To incompetence.

To fear.

To the ever irritating male ego.

To the hands-off attitude.

To meanness.

To sheer stupidity.

To all talk and no action.

To big words and empty statements.

To holding the horses.

To moving goalposts.

To balls in courts.

To the right tone.

To knee-jerk reactions.

To "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??!!"

To making bad decisions, or worse, not making any decision at all.

To letting the situation take control.

To cleaning up the mess others leave behind.

To ingratitude and indifference.

To de-motivating the team.

To self-centredness.

To political manipulation.

To lack of ownership.

To losing sight of the big picture.

To poor foresight.

To lack of leadership, lack of direction.

To fuming and yelling.

To the heavy, weighted silence that hangs like a wet towel over the atmosphere.

To the things left unsaid.

To the madness of it all.

To "Here we go again".

To disillusionment.

To crabs in the bucket.

To cronyism, nepotism, favouritism.

To backstabbing and credit stealing.

To endless worrying.

To CYA (Cover Your A**)

To unrealistic expectations.

To knowing the worst, yet planning for the best.

To the "loser" syndrome.

To forever playing the victim.

To cynism that runs deep.

To the loss of trust.

To the visible lack of integrity.

To big time hypocrasy.

To cowardiance AND arrogance, at the same time.

To ignorance from the top down.

To every man or team for him/itself.

To pointing fingers and scapegoating.

To just letting things be.

To the fact that life, or maybe just work, can suck big time.

To leaving work at work.

To colleagues and teammates suffering under the same blundering , blustering fool.

To sharing, to discussing.

To the shared burden.

To the other parties who start to take notice, and offer a way out.

To just a little bit of outside help.

To colleagues who become friends.

To Indian food and mutton soup.

To bamboo clams and raw oysters.

To Shook! and lobster pasta.

To the Westin.

To all-night dinners.

To collective venting.

To the kuli-kang support system.

To friends found.

To the other people who are willing to listen and actually get it. Phew!

To the offers to get us OUT!! of there.

To the end in mind.

To choosing NOT to be a crab in the bucket.

To inter-cubicle jokes.

To hurled inter-cubicle insults.

To independent discussions standing up in cubicles, since team meetings produce no results.

To the other brilliant minds who are willing to answer.

To the "old ginger" who talks much, but also does much. Much respect.

To the "new" people who bring fresh competence, agressiveness and no-nonsense-ness.

To confiding in onw anoother.

To laugh, to yell, and most of all to complain as one.

To the invisible but utmostly felt helping hand.

To gentlemen.

To girlfriends.

Yes, by all the above B.S., the bosses suck, but there's each other, and bosses on the other side, who are just the opposite.

To my teammates and the ones who get it, I raise my brownie to you.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Brown Sugar Honey Vanilla Castella


I love this cake, it's like eating a pillow. You wanna stuff the whole fluffy chunk into your mouth and chomp down and compress all that softness. All the warm, caramelly brown sugar, honey and vanilla flavours nicely coming together.
I also like this with the bottom slightly burnt - there's a roundness of taste reminiscent of caramel, or a good bread crust)

Brown Sugar Honey Vanilla Castella
Adapted from one I found on Recipezaar

Ingredients
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1/2 cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup cake flour, sifted
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (160 C). Use parchment to line the pan. Grease the parchment.

2. In a large bowl, beat egg whites in electric mixer on a low speed 1 minute, increasing speed to medium-high. When foamy, sprinkle in 1 tablespoon sugar and cream of tartar. Beat until stiff but not dry. Set aside.

3. In another large bowl, whisk 1 /2cup sugar, honey, vanilla, and salt into egg yolks. Place bowl in a large pan of hot water. With an electric mixer, beat about 5 minutes on medium-high speed until pale yellow and doubled in volume. Gently sift in the flour.

4. With a spatula, fold the egg whites in thirds. Pour batter into pan. Tap gently on the counter to remove air bubbles.

5. Bake on middle rack of oven 35 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. When done, cake sides will pull away from pan slightly; top will be flat and feel spongy when pressed with finger. Cool 20 minutes. Run a small knife between edge of cake and pan. Remove from pan carefully. Pull off parchment and cool completey. Serve or store airtight.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

One More Lemon Cake



One more lemon cake, this time with oil and yogurt.

Truth be told, I like the buttery pound cake version more. Maybe because I overstirred at the end to incorporate the oil, maybe it's the low-fat yogurt (the only type I can find), maybe butter really is better.

It looks very much like Nigella's version here, except I used the yogurt to make a little icing (just whip in some icing sugar).


Gateau au Yourt (Yogurt Cake, don't you love how everything sounds so chic in French?)

1/2 tub plain yogurt
1 tub castor sugar
1/2 tub oil
zest from 2 lemons
2 tubs plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 egg


Combine the yogurt, sugar and egg.

Stir in the rest of the ingredients.

Bake at 170 degrees for 20 minutes (in a mini bundt pan, longer if you make one cake).


For the icing:
The rest of the yogurt
1/4 cup icing sugar

Whip the yogurt and sugar together, chill to thicken.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Saturday Indulgence

So.

The house is clean. Last night's vanilla ice cream guilt trip, combined with the fact that I just could not stand anymore the sticky floor and BooBoo's debris everywhere (let's just call it debris and leave it at that). So what did I do, on a Friday night, at 11 pm? I got to mopping the floor.

It's amazing, how amazing a clean house (ok, just shiny floors and no plates in the sink) makes one feel - free and guiltless and ready to tackle on my next cooking experiment.

Instead I opted to be indulgent today - Season 5 of Gray's Anatomy on the DVD player, BooBoo, my laptop, working Wireless(!!!). Of course, this can never have a happy ending, at half an hour into episode 1 I'm bawling my eyes out, heart wrenched and wrung, never merely touched.

Come home soon, AK. I'll have lotus root pork rib soup and molten chocolate cake ready when you are. If I can tear myself off my newly vacuumed, disinfected, wiped-down sofa, of course.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Gloatingly Bloated, Lemony Lemon Cakes


I'm feeling rather fat now. My stomach is bloated and I can't move.

No wonder - here's Solitary Dinners Part 2 - Barbeque flavoured potato chips, 1901 Hot Dog, 2 lemon cakes and too much vanilla ice cream than I can handle - my stomach feels so full now. Yeargh.

No mood to clean the house, which BooBoo and mama have totally messed up.

No willpower to get up and get onto the Elliptical, when I've been so disciplined the past few days.

Today, it's my day of dirty indulgence.

I have come a long way from my hurricane-just-passed-through-my-room-every-day phase, and have reached some zenith where I actually find it impossible to relax if the house is dirty.

But today, I find myself relaxing without an ounce of guilt.

BooBoo, of course, never feels guilty. Obviously his mama is learning from him.




Nigella's Lemon Cake
- Adapted from How to Be A Domestic Goddess

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup castor sugar
1 cup cake flour
2 eggs
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
Zest from 3 lemons
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Syrup:
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup icing sugar

Rub the lemon zest with the sugar until the everything becomes yellow and smells lemony.
Cream the butter and lemon sugar till light and creamy.
Add the eggs and stir to combine
Fold in the flour and liquids, alternately.
Pour into your cake pan or what I used, a mini-bundt.
Bake at 275 degrees for 20 minutes, or 45 minutes.

Dissolve the sugar in the lemon juice, heating the mixture a little if needed.
Brush onto the still-warm cake.

Take Two - They taste much better after a night in the refridge


I find they taste much better after a night in the fridge - the cake is more cakey, the crumb is tighter and the lemony taste is more pronnounced - which is good. The sharp lemony flavour tastes a lot better cold.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Singapore Shots

Kids playing in the Bugis Fountain



Whoo-hoo! Weekends away from Miri, that's what we're talking about.

Really have to thank AK's friends, K and C, for shortcutting us to the two foods that I wanted to try the most in Singapore - chilli crab with deep fried mantou and frog legs porridge.

We had a blast down under in that little island - rented a comfy little hotel room (online booking with less than 12 hours notice! my kinda hotel); made short work of the ultra-efficient, comfy bus system, walked in Boat Quay/Clarke Quay, down Orchard, wandered Chinatown to death, all in good fun. Except for the crazy heat, that was.



Back to the food. I gotta say, talking about size alone, SG wins hands down in the Chilli Crab showdown. Look at the size of that claw! But gravy-wise, Penang is still the winner. More fragrant, more spicy, more lalu nasi, as they call it. Sor-ry, Penang is da best, but I can't help it if it's the truth, no?


Seriously addictive frog leg porridge. The legs are cooked in a highly savoury kung pao gravy (dark soy sauce, spring onions, dried chilli) and you stir the legs+gravy into your porridge. We had this in SG's red-light district, Geylang, where I was mistakenly growled at by one of the, erm, girls with cleavage out for all to see. Hey, my dress wasn't that short.

Oh, and I bought my first Le Creuset! In bright sunshiny yellow, love it. Thank you dear for lugging it all the way back for me (although somehow I still managed to sprain my back, still hurting until now).
Hmm, am planning to take some day off to immerse myself in the Great Singapore Sale.

A Letter to Molly

Dear Molly,

First of all, my hats off to you. I love your efferverscent writing, your wonderful, frill-free photos. I respect you love of salad, you baring (in effect, sharing) yourself to the world in Orangette.
I envy your book deal, your legions of fans.

I realize that true foodblog success (or success in anything, for that matter) takes an honest, true-to-oneself-ness that I have yet to have the courage for, that even in cyberspace I am reluctant to do so. But I try nonetheless, and still search for that fit for me.

But back to the apology. I tried your banana cake with chocolate and crystallized ginger, and it just did't work for me.

I used my mini-bundt pan, and ate two of these little babies fresh out of my little oven. They had crisp little edges from the tray and were delicious. But after 3 days of storage and forcing another two down, I had to throw the rest away - they smelled too sickly sweet and tasted rather like cough medicine. I really wanted to like them, I did. Perhaps I was the one who messed up - my meddling with recipes has gotten me in trouble before.

But I did take some nice pictures. And I still love your book to bits. And I will still, one day, try your dark chocolate cupcakes with dark chocolate caps, and your lifechanging-sounding Winning-Hearts-and-Minds chocolate cake, or Chocolate Nemesis cake (another online version), or Chocolate Mousse Cake (from Nigella's How to be a Domestic Goddess). Sorry, couldn't help myself.

I have to say, all in all, I am glad I tried it anyway. But no more banana cake or bread for some tiem.

But thank you, especially, for the inspiration.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Latest Wish List

Amazon now ships to Malaysia!!

I am such a pushover for kitchen products. Did I mention that I just spent half a thousand on a bright yellow, cast-iron, made-in-France, good-for-induction hob, gas hob, straight-into-the-oven, comes-with-a-lifetime warranty pot? Damn the Malaysian ringgit.

Now, I have stumbled on Amazon Global! *Weak in the knees*

I want:-

- Silpat Silicon Baking Sheet - two, preferably
- Set of six 6-ounce souffle dishes, like ramekins, can be used to make custard cups, oefs cocotte, individual sticky toffee puddings...
- Salad spinner (eventhough I HATE salad...teheh)
- Kitchenaid box grater
- 20 cm Global chef's knife
- Coffee grinder
- Silicone pastry brush
- Fat Separator
- Onion goggles - how useful is that?? No more tears

OK, am obviously not safe left alone with working credit cards and not much to do.

Sigh.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Moping for One

BooBoo and I are all by ourselves, from yesterday to the coming weekend.

Which also means that I get to eat whatever I can rustle up from the dark depths of the fridge and use up whatever gunk I bought that AK didn't agree with (cue the wholemeal spagetthi).

So far I've eaten the following - 1901 beef hot dog with steamed sesame bun; whole-wheat pasta stir-fried in lots of garlic and canned crabmeat, deep-fried flour pastry with sambal udang, seri muka, apples, raw Mamee noodles, microwaved egg and a couple of chocolate-covered macadamias. All in a span of 1 lunch and 2 dinners. Like I said, whatever I could find.

BooBoo is doing his psycho thing again, where he runs up and down the house chasing some imaginery shadows, skidding across the newly-mopped floor and crashing into the door. He treats my laptop power cable is a ball of string, pawing it and putting it into his mouth. Then he comes and stares, meowing occasionaly as I sit and type, hoping for some measure of mercy (that I will feed him something).

Meanwhile I'm trying to make sense of the economical terms and conditions of this country's Oil and Gas resources and the very complicated commercial relationships we have with each other as players in this field. Oh crap what made me think I could switch from engineer to analyst after one meet? From analyzing iso's, MTO's, Operating Envelopes and Operating Ampere to sifting through Priority of Supply, Production Sharing Contrcts, Gas Sales Agreements, ullages and MTAB?

Sigh. Even typing that gave me a headache.

Oh well CSI: NY is about to start :)

All this while, AK is indulging in Claypot Crab and the freshes seafood that JB has to offer. As I type this he is off for a Thai massage with the other guys. Hmph.

The Spoilt One

Our lives have taken a turn for the better since we fully adopted BooBoo into our home. He now has his own basket with mattress, a scratching post, his colorful fish cartoon bowl, an entire basket of medication and his own bathroom (well, actually that's more because no one wants to share it with him).

King of the House

He has taken our new couch hostage too.


Here we are checking out recipes for oysters.






Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Many Stories of Streaky Bacon




I have to confess, I am terrified of getting fat.
I am NO fine-featured, oval-faced nymph - tall for my gender and race, but with bulkier legs that I ever wish. Which is why I believe that my only saving grace is the lack of flesh on my bones.

Pretty much of my life after twenty, I was so health-conscious (read: fat-and-sugar-fearing) I wonder if I missed out on anything. My typical day's worth of meals would be like this:

- Morning: Oatmeal with Anlene (fat-free calcium-fortified milk powder), cinnamon and water; a cup of Nescafe made with the same milk powder, no sugar
- Mid-morning: Half a bowl of fish beehoon soup - rice noodles in a clear soup
- Afternoon: Slice of whole-wheat bread with 1 tablespoon peanut butter, or an apple
Evening: Home-made wheat noodles in clear soup (pan mian), or at home, sardines with spinach (yech)

I could make a small bar of chocolate last for weeks, or a half a cup of fat-free yogurt for tea.


The word "supper" was almost a dirty word, not ever, even though I joined my coursemates outside more often that not; mostly I had tea while they ordered roti planta, roti cheese, nasi lemak with deep fried chicken and the excess crumbs from the coating of the chicken - I stole a couple of bites from my friends. I could look on serenely, happy in the knowing that my concave belly was worth the abstinence.

I'd jump rope at night in my room, swim for miles on weekends, and run up the staircases in campus and to my second-storey bedroom for "bursts" of calorie burning.
Today I take a more liberal approach to food and exercise in general. It's all cool. My priviledged days of foie gras, bacon, chocolate milkshakes and caramel cheesecake seem to happen all too often.
On to the subject. The best bacon I have tried is not from the UK or Spain, it's from Brunei. Granted it's definitely not made in the Muslim-denominated country, but thanks to Brunei Shell and the considerable expat population there, a bulging pack of gorgeous, streaky rashers cost us less than 3 Brunei dollars. Total bargain. And it was - succulent, fatty, juicy and, best of all, yielded a full quarter cup of rendered, flavourful liquid FAT which I smartly used to fry rice for dinner.
I guess there's no need to explain on the cooking of the bacon itself - over a medium low heat in a non-stick pan without any oil, pouring away (into a heatproof container for safekeeping) excess fat, until browned in places. If you have bread, instead of butter, panfry the slices in a small amount of bacon fat (after pouring away most of it) until crisp.
The BEST Fried Rice

1/4 cup bacon fat (rendered)
2 cups cooked rice
1 large onion, sliced (larger slices, don't process to mush)
Anything else to bulk it up - I used beef sausage, sweetcorn, and a small pork fillet I sliced thinly and marinated with sesame oil, soy sauce specially brewed in Penang, a teensy bit of sugar and pepper
Seasoning - I like a mix of Penang home-brewed soy, and Maggie seasoning.
Black or white pepper to taste
1-2 eggs, beaten with the same seasoning mixture as above

Heat the fat and onions in a large non-stick pan/wok. Cook the onions over medium-low heat till soft and translucent.
Add the meats (sausage, meat dice, chicken balls)
Add the rice and a bit of water if it's too dry and crusty
Season liberally and keep on stirring to combine. Make sure you cook off the water.
Taste and season as you go along.
Add the veggies to heat up, stirring frequently.
Serve immediately.