From Oprah (and BooBoo) with Love - Stress...It's All In Your Approach

By the LLuminari Experts

(I've bolded the ones I love)

We can all be susceptible to feeling we have to fix everything or make everything perfect. The only thing this is…this creates a perfectly stressful situation! Learn how to find a stress reducing approach to your life.

Change the pace of your day! Talk, walk, or drive at a slower pace.
Get the first appointment of the day—this decreases the chances you'll have to wait.

Turn off the television!

Turn it off!

Buy more underwear so you don't have to do laundry as often.

Let someone do you a favor.

Consolidate errands and chores.
Cook in large batches and freeze it.

Listen to music you like.
Create art or look at some.

Wear comfortable clothes

Keep a photograph from your vacation at your desk, or keep a card from a loved one in your briefcase

Forgive and forget a grudge.

Have breakfast in bed or take yourself to lunch.

Walk in a park, appreciate nature, watch the clouds.

Get a massage.

Take a time-out to get away mentally or physically.

Schedule more time than you think you will need.

Allow twice as long to get where you are going or to complete a project.
Let someone else drive.
Cry. Crying can restore chemical balance in you body.

Begin and end the day with prayer, meditation, reflection

Keep it simple.

Keep your house picked up.

Don't over schedule.
Strive for realistic deadlines.

Never make a promise you can't keep.

Allow an extra half-hour for everything you do.
Create quiet surroundings at home and at work.

Always carry something interesting to read.

Breathe—deeply and often.

Get moving—walk, dance, run or find a sport you enjoy.

Be, instead of do.

Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal.
Laugh more often.

Luxuriate in your senses

Always opt for comfort.

If you don't love it, live without it.

Don't answer the telephone during dinner.

Start pleasing yourself.

Stay away from negative people.
Don't squander precious resources: time, creative energy, emotion

Nurture friendships.

Don't be afraid of your passion.

Honor your aspirations and set achievable goals.

Surrender expectations.

Savor beauty.

Don't worry; be happy. Embrace happiness as a living emotion.

Choose serenity over security.

Care for your soul and cherish your dreams.

Express love every day.

Moving Forward

I have been taking the move much more maturely than I ever expected of myself. In fact, as the days whiz by in the yard I find myself getting more and more used to the fact that I will be office based, in Miri. I mean, I'm searching for a smaller, more sustainable house, and I 'm going through all the opportunities I will have to do at home and everything.

It still amazes me, my emotional calm and maturity when handling this.

I mean, it would be totally exciting to go offshore with the team I have been working closely with, to work on the things I have worked hard on (on paper) the past 2 years, as well as relive the crazy stuff I went through already. But then again, life is so much more than just working till exhaustion, isn't it?

I will be delving into a totally different field, pulling myself out of the nuts and bolts and into strategizing and financial planning.

Come to think of it, I have never actually been in a 8 to 5 job in Miri, since joining this organization. I was first on a 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off basis offshore, then I joined the project and started travelling on an almost weekly basis to KL, and now am based in JB. I have never stayed put in Miri, ever.

So, after 4 years "based" in Miri but never really staying here for extended periods, let alone by myself, I finally will be.

So what CAN I do with all the extra time I have NOT travelling?

I could:-

1) Take up an online course. I really want to take the CFA, but am unable to find one in Miri
:( Keep searching!

2) Grow my little baking business

3) Volunteer to teach underpriveledged children. One thing that is readily available in Miri, or Sarawak for that matter - there is no shortage of people to help. It's sad - this place is probably generating 40% of Malaysia's income/exports (not just oil and Gas, but timber is a valuable commodity too), but the people who actually benefit probably make just 10% of the population. Gut-wrenching poverty is still prevalent - ugly squatters along the Miri river, people surviving on pittance.

I also look forward to being forced to make new friends, as well as working for a company outsider. So far my experience with people who are NOT from the organization have been the most rewarding and fulfilling. No kidding.

When one door closes, another opens. We'll see, shall we?

We Heart Melaka

This is a beautiful courtyard on Jonker Street.

We sneaked off to Malacca over the weekend, where we ate, ate, walked and then ate some more:-

1) Fresh spring rolls from an old man whom we first found in an alley behind Jonker street

2) Chicken rice balls with crispy roast pork
3) The freshest charcoal-grilled fish, with nasi lemak and fresh starfruit juice
4) Sotong bakar
5) Asam pedas curry rice with fish eggs in a lemak curry
6) Durian chendol

We also trawled a much-livelier Jonker, and I definitely want to pay this place a visit once I have a permanent place to call my own. Stuff I'm interested in include:

1) Gorgeous Venetian mirrors for ~RM300
2) Chinese antique chest for ~RM1200
3) Antique Peranakan tiles
4) Solid Teak tables and benches going for 5k and above

Above items notwithstanding ( I almost bought the mirror - but worried that it might crack during the flight back to Miri, so had to abandon it...), I had a pretty good haul:-

1) A large woven tray
2) Antique-lookalike earrings - 3 for RM10!
3) A gorgeous aqua-batek-print pareo for RM35 - total bargain

The only thing I regret being unable to find is a really good, reasonably-priced baju kebaya, the good ones cost more than 300 bucks, but were absolutely gorgeous, the 100-200 ringgit bracket items looked cheap and gaudy. There is a downside to all this glamour.

And AK bought a sword for RM11, and a ninjoku (not sure if the spelling is correct), both which he is enthusiastically practicing with and injuring both of us in the process :)

BooBoo on the Staircase

Of course, before we set off and leave our poor baby again, he HAS to show off just how adorable he is. Rubbing in the guilt and making our hearts so heavy for leaving him.

Here he is posing on the staircase landing whilst we snapped from the living room below.



WE MISS BOOBOO.

Weekend Bake-Off

Ah the joys of giving! A friend requested for some sweet things to sell, and here is what I came up with:

1) Castella for the lactose-intolerant or weight watching;


2) Brownies for chocoholics, made with Van Houten chocolate buttons (sorry, can't afford Valrhona this time, I daresay I taste no difference)



3) Dorie Greenspan's triple chocolate mini bundts - made with cocoa, melted chocolate and topped with chocolate icing!!

Here's hoping that it's a beginning of greater things :)

Rediscovering JB

I never thought I'd say this.

After living in Miri - Oh JB, how I love thee.

I love the food.

I love Tebrau City Mall - it's has all the necessary outlets (Guess, MNG, a big well-stocked bookstore, dozens of interesting food outlets, except no Zara)

We have been feasting well - fish head curry, Snow crab, prawns, Korean barbecue and some really excellent rib eye at the newly opened Thistle Hotel. Oh, and the durians and mangosteens and rambutans. And seedless grapes.

I am even warming up to the traffic jam - 45 minutes of traffic ain't so bad when you got Hitz.fm to supply a couple of laughs.

And shopping, of course. So far I have (or we have) bought the following:

1) A pretty Bohemian dress from MNG, blue floral pattern with bell sleeves, 50% off!
2) A short-sleeved satin blouse that can be worn up or down, with a skirt, slacks or shorts
3) A thick yoga mat
4) A premium cotton, travel friendly (aka wrinkle-proof) green long-sleeved jersey, 50% from British India. I plan to wear this on flights, it's super comfy.
5) An aqua-coloured bikini top (haven't found the suitable bottoms yet)
6) A long cotton top with embroidery on the collar line, for beach vacations (as a swimsuit cover up)
7) A brown bean bag for home

Aargh how I long to leave Miri.

Self Care

I've been a lot more conscious of taking better care of myself. It's all about balance.

I was too insecure, too self doubting to actually take better care of myself. Stupidly, I used to believe that people would not take me seriously if I indulged in a little self pampering - that face masks and massages are for dizzy, rich ladies with nothing better to do.

But now, older, wiser, I realize that I can have my cake and eat it too.

So here's my list of things I do, that I regard as self-care, that I have not been doing since I started working, actually:-

1) Curl up on the couch/bed with a Jodi Picoult novel and a cup of steaming green tea
2) Applying my L'occitane Shea Butter Lotion all over my legs and arms before bed
3) Yoga - I've restarted my daily sun salutations that was my daily staple at university. And it is 6 years overdue - really, what took me so long?
4) Eating high quality chocolates
5) Eating a good breakfast - oats, with milk and sugar and cinnamon.
6) Getting AK to help me clean the house

More additions to the list, I promise.

Missing BooBoo

When we got back after two weeks in JB, it took us two days fo trawling back lanes and driving around before we finally found him sleeping like a vagabond in one of the uninhabited houses opposite ours.

AK gave him his bath - twice! to get rid of all traces of the alleyways.

And here he is claiming his spot on the bed, and on AK's foot:

Sigh. Only one weekend, we're already here in JB, and BooBoo is once again left in the care of our wonderful neighbour.

We miss him already.

Sexy Shirt Dress

I don't know what's up with me and white cotton dresses.

Here's another one to put on a wish list. By Twenty8Twelve, that Sienna Miller and Sis company (her name's Savannah)

There's a masculinity about it that I like...you know, the morning after-white shirt that doesn't actually belong to you?

On Fullfillment, Living a Full Life

Lately I've been having thoughts.

I recognize the patterns - the brood moods, the quiet asking of "What if I jumped...."

That feeling of a heart so empty, yet manages to feel so heavy.

The thoughts that wander into spaces never been.

Lately, I have been unable to find happiness in anything.

I buy stuff and eat to make it go away. It does, but only for a little while.

I MUST DO SOMETHING, before I drown.

Before it's too late and time slips by and the choices disappear.

It is NOT about making the best of what you have sometimes, it is about making tough choices, of breaking free so we can live our BEST lives. To put one's foot down and declare that I will NOT take this anymore. It is OVER, it is DONE, I have tried, believe you me, I have tried to make the best of it. But the best is just not good enough.

It is time to rediscover myself, what and whom I truly am and stand for, instead of compromising. Because it is, pointedly, now or never.

Dear God, give me strength, to do the necessary.