This is Me; My Heritage and I

I have always been (a little) proud.

My mum, Madeleine (no Chinese name) is Eurasian-Chinese. Or Chinese-Eurasian, if you're particular about the dads coming first.

My beloved Grandpa was Hakka who spoke English to his nine children. Probably because my Grandma spoke no Chinese. Come to think of it, I, who spent years of my childhood (from the time I could walk to the age of fifteen) living with my grandparents, can't even tell to this day whether Grandpa spoke anything other than English.

My Grandma is Eurasian, I suspect of Portuguese descent. My only clue of this? She cooks (cooked - she's chair-bound now) some mean Devil curry and we (my mum, Auntie and I) bake pineapple tarts and sugee cake for Christmas. Grandma has a really cool surname too - Jalle.

Growing up my mum was the major influence in my life. I was taught to be, for lack a way of saying it better, almost Anti-Chinese. We watched the Cosby Show, progressed to Friends and shouted the answers to Wheel of Fortune and A-Million-Dollar-Chance-of-A-Lifetime. We spoke exclusively English at home, and thought that was normal. My brothers and I couldn't even order food in Chinese (Hokkien) until much, much later in life. Daniel was sent to a Chinse medium primary school but hated it. It was almost as if he knew it wasn't for him even though he was seven, or twelve. When mum wanted him to go to similar high school he went ballistic and cried every day (and I mean every day) until he got into St Xavier's, where he thrives now.

Thanks to mum, we love Christmas more than Chinese New Year because, well, she did.

Somehow, we were programmed to bring out the tree and buy presents for each other. To eat turkey, sambal and sugee cake. To sing the Golden Oldies (actually that's more Pa than Mum), and to watch all the American sitcoms. To hate steamed white chicken and to be snooty to people who didn't speak English as well as we did (ok, that was mostly me, and I had some peer influence there no doubt).

I can truthfully say that I only appreciated, accepted my Chinese heritage when I was in University. That was when I was the only Chinese out of 20 who spoke none. That's when I learnt to order food in Mandarin. That was where I realized that there were some Malaysians who spoke no English almost their entire life.

I dabbled, wet my toes in the Chinese- gang for a while, mostly because they were my coursemates. But I soon found some people who were more like me and they have been my closest friends, and still are. But I learnt - and changed quite a bit. I now look forward to good Dim Sum, roast crackled pork when I never accepted as a child. I would rather have chocolate cookies and chicken pies.

Why am I writing this? Because I am wondering about my own descendants. What sort of heritage to I pass down? What kind of memories shall I create? How do I want to be remembered?

It's the nostalgia speaking, excuse me. But one word comes to mind though, whatever it may be - delicously.

A New Home, Soon

My dearest,

I have an announcement to make.

I finally have a chance. A real chance.

To have a place of my (our own).

You see, dear housemate has gotten a job in a faraway island just south of the Peninsular.

Which means AK and I, we'll be officially house hunting pretty soon.

I've been a bit crazy about home decor and am absolutely thrilled. A chance to choose my own sofa (has to be the softest, most plush I can afford - is a couch potato priority); to buy big white plates and scrolled silverware; to finally bring out some of the things I bought but never dared to use; to hang up our photos; to finally be able to bring our beloved Baby into the house.

You know what they say, buy what you love and it'll all come together.

Well, he is my wish list of things I have fallen, head over heels, big-sigh-I-reaaaally-wish-I-had-my-own-place with:-

1) Lascurain's joyous Celebrate! and Secret Place paintings, I'd place them in my bedroom. Too beautiful for words.

2) Big martini glasses or glass tumblers

3) Fancy cookware from Le Creuset, cast-iron frypans, silicone bakeware

4) Nigella Lawson's pastel blue mixing bowls

5) Venetian mirrors! Sooooo......jaw-droppingly expensive

6) Dare I - chaise lounge!

7) Small copper bowls and dishes, for Indian banana leaf meals (still hope AK!!??)

And then there are the simplest pleasures I found living here that I plan to make the effort to bring to anywhere I live next, next and next:-

A bathroom that allows views of the foliage outside. Our current bathroom has a window with panes that tilt upwards and inside (so we can see out but you can't see in :) ), and there is a wonderful pleasure to shower and "pretend" to be in Eden.

Eating in the most comfy queen sized bed in the world. Yes, eating in bed. One of life's ultimate pleasures.

Yes,yes, we shall.

You need some Brains for Bread

Finally, a cooking post after almost a year of grumbling and mumbling about work!

First of all, let me say something - it's the oven's fault.

Sigh. What went wrong?

Reminder to self - I need an oven thermometer. Fresh yeast. Half a brain.

Here is my lousy version of the olive oil No-Knead bread, much better versions found here and here.

Is it because (and here is why, looking back, I said half a brain) I:

- Piled the toppings on the dough like a pizza but baked in at a lower temperature?

- ignored the instructions to "Stretch surface of dough on each side and tuck under, creating a round, ball with a taut surface. Flatten dough ball a little. Keep the dough covered until ready to use." I kinda just spooned out the dough from bowl to tray and used the back of a spoon to smooth it out, like cake batter *blush*

- left the dough out only for one hour when the recipe said two?

- really messed up the water measurements (1 cup = 16 tablespoons, 3/4 cup does NOT equal 3 tablespoons)?

But I really, really believe, that it was the oven that did me in. You see, like so many of you, I have an oven which lies to me...(highly suspects that the 200 degC on the oven dial wasn't really 200 degC)

Sigh. Where can one get an oven thermometer in Miri?

Note:

I really like the toppings though. I roasted five whole unpeeled cloves of garlic in butter with some rosemary (yeah baby, I actually used the dried rosemary I brought all the way back from Penang - finally! It came out smelling a bit like toothpaste but the when spread on the bread and went really well with the ham) in foil parcels. I then mashed the soft roasted garlic with the melted butter and spread this on top of my bread. In the middle of the sheet of dough I made a little indentation with my oiled tablespoon and cracked an egg into that. Studded the loaf with chicken loaf and sprinkled the whole lot with dried parsley.

So I would do this again (heh, not that I have a choice, I still have 3 batches of dough in the fridge to play with). Maybe with the same ingredients but as a stuffing like this lady did?

Wish me luck..!

Lazy Saturday

Baby and I are lazing our day away........me, because I kinda have no choice; Baby, because he can.

Now, if you'll excuse us........

Dream Tableware - My List

I want...

- big white plates and serving dishes

- silverware - forks, spoons, knives with ornate carvings- etched stemware like the waterglass here, which I found at Anthropologie.com:-

...Big cappucino cups that double as soup bowls

.....Oriental lacquered bowls with gilded chopsticks, on (faux) rosewood trays

......China blue painted bowls for the kopitiam look - for serving simpler stuff, of course

.......Stoneware bowls

.....Stainless steel or, even better, brass Indian serving dishes

.....And I have fallen head-over-heels (and I mean that - I've daydreamed of them) these beautiful, beautiful scrolled Turkish/Moroccan tumblers....where can I find them???

(Reminder to self: Lim's Arts and Living, Singapore)

Of course, cheery yellow melamine plates and bowls for everyday use. Melamine stands up to heat and looks so much better than normal plastic stuff. Here's mine holding freshly plucked, washed and trimmed pandan leaves.



Slowly slowly I shall build up my collection..you'll see.

Call to Action

The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.

—ZIG ZIGLAR

Day 3 And I'm Getting It

So it's Day 3 of crutches and am already feeling like it's forever.

Housemate is in Singapore/Europe now so I can drive her Auto car to work. Lucky (?) for me this time it's the left foot so as long as I don't have to step on a clutch I'm good to go.

I've done the following since yesterday:

- packed my stuff, including making myself a bread-and-kaya breakfast
- laptop, oversized handbag and all, get myself from house to car, parking lot to office cubicle - think I got this down to a science now. Leaves me exhausted and sweating by the time I reach my cubicle but at least I'm doing it by myself
- refilled my water and made my coffee
- made Maggie Mee with prawn and chicken balls for my dinner
- fed the cat
- hand-washed and hung up my clothes
- threw the rubbish into the MPM bin outside the house

Wondering how I can cook? See, the biggest problem with using crutches is the fact that both one's hands are occupied with them thus making it real difficult to hold anything. When I made my dinner I pushed the bowl around in a chair.

So - a trolley will definitely make it work...hmm....

Another big issue is that I won't be getting much exercise as long as I'm having to hobble around like this. Adding to this, erm, issue is the fact that I'm so bored at home that the only thing that comforts be sometimes is just to eat anything I can get my hands on. Am gonna need a lot willpower to overcome this. The other temptation, is, of course, online shopping but our wonderful Malaysian exchange rates just don't allow it.

C'mon foot, heal, heal, heal...

Workin' It

I told myself that this will not affect me.

That everything should be as normal.

I made my own breakfast at home.

Then I drove myself to work this morning, then, laptop on my back, oversized Zara handbag over my right shoulder, I hobbled on my crutches from the parking lot to the office.

Then at the office, two arms holding crutches, clinging to a wildly wobbling mug, made my hot coffee-with-extra-Nescafe Gold and refilled my drinking water.

The whole exercise has left me exhausted, and my shoulder and arms are tingling crazily now.

Rancangan Tergendala

Last year, when it happenned, it tought me:

1) That strangers are way more helpful than I give them credit for. People offered to push my trolley at the airport, kept doors open for me and generally were really considerate
2) That this company has some screwed up priorities
3) That my offshore folks ARE so much nicer than I expected - hailed cabs for me even though it takes longer to nail one down than to walk back to the hotel in KL, and hold the umbrella for me
4) That no matter how hard I try and pride myself on being independent, I just have to depend on the people around me. And learn to trust them.

Dear God, did I forget all that I've learnt?

No cooking, exercising, going to Pasar Ramadhan, buying mooncakes and kaya buns by myself. For at least a month.

Can't even do damn own laundry or do my own dishes. (Never thought I'd say this.)

Now I just hope that I can get well enough to be able to get to Singapore in October. Please?

If not for the lousy exchange rate, I would have ordered Mes Confitures to make myself feel better.

Sigh. But that is not to be.

Because I need to save for Singapore. *wink*

Loving Us

Our baby is turning into a real whiner nowadays.

Here he's plonked himself on AK's comic book while he was reading on the bed. Notice the comic underneath him?

Here he jumped up AK's computer table, pushed his mouse away and sprawled in front of the keyboard (where it's easiest to stroke and pet him).

Now, who could resist that? :)