Lately I've been having thoughts.
I recognize the patterns - the brood moods, the quiet asking of "What if I jumped...."
That feeling of a heart so empty, yet manages to feel so heavy.
The thoughts that wander into spaces never been.
Lately, I have been unable to find happiness in anything.
I buy stuff and eat to make it go away. It does, but only for a little while.
I MUST DO SOMETHING, before I drown.
Before it's too late and time slips by and the choices disappear.
It is NOT about making the best of what you have sometimes, it is about making tough choices, of breaking free so we can live our BEST lives. To put one's foot down and declare that I will NOT take this anymore. It is OVER, it is DONE, I have tried, believe you me, I have tried to make the best of it. But the best is just not good enough.
It is time to rediscover myself, what and whom I truly am and stand for, instead of compromising. Because it is, pointedly, now or never.
Dear God, give me strength, to do the necessary.
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