Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Night Time Struggles
Evening - dinner, conversation. Making a fuss of the cat.
Night - reading, studying, struggling to make sense of something almost somewhat like another world, yet it is fundamental in a sense to what I do every day. Makes no sense, what I just said.
This entire LNG business is mind-boggling to me right now. Far away am I from Double Diaphgram pumps and Motor Operated Valves and Construction barges, I am in Tokyo Gas and Sorbanne and Oxley, 20, 30-year contracts, billions of dollars of transactions in words. It's endlessly fascinating, but so different from my day job I feel like I'm drowning.
So back to work it is then.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Raising the Brownie
But HEY, life's like that, no?
On days like these, I exercise to relieve some not-so-well-bottled up tension. My voice is higher and louder when I speak. I hug my cat and tell him I love him.
And that's why I feel like baking. Something oozy, gooey, chocolatey, totally sinful. Or perhaps something tangy and lemony and refreshing.
Measuring, Stirring, Sifting, biting into cake or brownie.
So let's lift our slices or brownie or little lemon cakes in toast.
To incompetence.
To fear.
To the ever irritating male ego.
To the hands-off attitude.
To meanness.
To sheer stupidity.
To all talk and no action.
To big words and empty statements.
To holding the horses.
To moving goalposts.
To balls in courts.
To the right tone.
To knee-jerk reactions.
To "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??!!"
To making bad decisions, or worse, not making any decision at all.
To letting the situation take control.
To cleaning up the mess others leave behind.
To ingratitude and indifference.
To de-motivating the team.
To self-centredness.
To political manipulation.
To lack of ownership.
To losing sight of the big picture.
To poor foresight.
To lack of leadership, lack of direction.
To fuming and yelling.
To the heavy, weighted silence that hangs like a wet towel over the atmosphere.
To the things left unsaid.
To the madness of it all.
To "Here we go again".
To disillusionment.
To crabs in the bucket.
To cronyism, nepotism, favouritism.
To backstabbing and credit stealing.
To endless worrying.
To CYA (Cover Your A**)
To unrealistic expectations.
To knowing the worst, yet planning for the best.
To the "loser" syndrome.
To forever playing the victim.
To cynism that runs deep.
To the loss of trust.
To the visible lack of integrity.
To big time hypocrasy.
To cowardiance AND arrogance, at the same time.
To ignorance from the top down.
To every man or team for him/itself.
To pointing fingers and scapegoating.
To just letting things be.
To the fact that life, or maybe just work, can suck big time.
To leaving work at work.
To colleagues and teammates suffering under the same blundering , blustering fool.
To sharing, to discussing.
To the shared burden.
To the other parties who start to take notice, and offer a way out.
To just a little bit of outside help.
To colleagues who become friends.
To Indian food and mutton soup.
To bamboo clams and raw oysters.
To Shook! and lobster pasta.
To the Westin.
To all-night dinners.
To collective venting.
To the kuli-kang support system.
To friends found.
To the other people who are willing to listen and actually get it. Phew!
To the offers to get us OUT!! of there.
To the end in mind.
To choosing NOT to be a crab in the bucket.
To inter-cubicle jokes.
To hurled inter-cubicle insults.
To independent discussions standing up in cubicles, since team meetings produce no results.
To the other brilliant minds who are willing to answer.
To the "old ginger" who talks much, but also does much. Much respect.
To the "new" people who bring fresh competence, agressiveness and no-nonsense-ness.
To confiding in onw anoother.
To laugh, to yell, and most of all to complain as one.
To the invisible but utmostly felt helping hand.
To gentlemen.
To girlfriends.
Yes, by all the above B.S., the bosses suck, but there's each other, and bosses on the other side, who are just the opposite.
To my teammates and the ones who get it, I raise my brownie to you.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Brown Sugar Honey Vanilla Castella
Brown Sugar Honey Vanilla Castella
Adapted from one I found on Recipezaar
Ingredients
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1/2 cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup cake flour, sifted
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (160 C). Use parchment to line the pan. Grease the parchment.
2. In a large bowl, beat egg whites in electric mixer on a low speed 1 minute, increasing speed to medium-high. When foamy, sprinkle in 1 tablespoon sugar and cream of tartar. Beat until stiff but not dry. Set aside.
3. In another large bowl, whisk 1 /2cup sugar, honey, vanilla, and salt into egg yolks. Place bowl in a large pan of hot water. With an electric mixer, beat about 5 minutes on medium-high speed until pale yellow and doubled in volume. Gently sift in the flour.
4. With a spatula, fold the egg whites in thirds. Pour batter into pan. Tap gently on the counter to remove air bubbles.
5. Bake on middle rack of oven 35 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. When done, cake sides will pull away from pan slightly; top will be flat and feel spongy when pressed with finger. Cool 20 minutes. Run a small knife between edge of cake and pan. Remove from pan carefully. Pull off parchment and cool completey. Serve or store airtight.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
One More Lemon Cake
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Saturday Indulgence
The house is clean. Last night's vanilla ice cream guilt trip, combined with the fact that I just could not stand anymore the sticky floor and BooBoo's debris everywhere (let's just call it debris and leave it at that). So what did I do, on a Friday night, at 11 pm? I got to mopping the floor.
It's amazing, how amazing a clean house (ok, just shiny floors and no plates in the sink) makes one feel - free and guiltless and ready to tackle on my next cooking experiment.
Instead I opted to be indulgent today - Season 5 of Gray's Anatomy on the DVD player, BooBoo, my laptop, working Wireless(!!!). Of course, this can never have a happy ending, at half an hour into episode 1 I'm bawling my eyes out, heart wrenched and wrung, never merely touched.
Come home soon, AK. I'll have lotus root pork rib soup and molten chocolate cake ready when you are. If I can tear myself off my newly vacuumed, disinfected, wiped-down sofa, of course.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Gloatingly Bloated, Lemony Lemon Cakes
No wonder - here's Solitary Dinners Part 2 - Barbeque flavoured potato chips, 1901 Hot Dog, 2 lemon cakes and too much vanilla ice cream than I can handle - my stomach feels so full now. Yeargh.
No mood to clean the house, which BooBoo and mama have totally messed up.
No willpower to get up and get onto the Elliptical, when I've been so disciplined the past few days.
Today, it's my day of dirty indulgence.
I have come a long way from my hurricane-just-passed-through-my-room-every-day phase, and have reached some zenith where I actually find it impossible to relax if the house is dirty.
But today, I find myself relaxing without an ounce of guilt.
BooBoo, of course, never feels guilty. Obviously his mama is learning from him.
Nigella's Lemon Cake
- Adapted from How to Be A Domestic Goddess
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup castor sugar
1 cup cake flour
2 eggs
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
Zest from 3 lemons
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Syrup:
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup icing sugar
Rub the lemon zest with the sugar until the everything becomes yellow and smells lemony.
Cream the butter and lemon sugar till light and creamy.
Add the eggs and stir to combine
Fold in the flour and liquids, alternately.
Pour into your cake pan or what I used, a mini-bundt.
Bake at 275 degrees for 20 minutes, or 45 minutes.
Dissolve the sugar in the lemon juice, heating the mixture a little if needed.
Brush onto the still-warm cake.
Take Two - They taste much better after a night in the refridge