Week 34, and Chocolate Pudding for Me

Week 34, people!

I know, I've been lucky compared to most women. I didn't experience morning sickness, I've been pretty much fit and healthy thoughout. I travelled, I worked out as much as I could find the time to (though not as much as I wanted to) - generally life was normal.

So can I whine a little here then?

I just got over a massive case of the flu - and over my 2-week leave period, much to my dismay.

Seriously, why??? I had so many plans, a list of things I wanted to do over the week after Christmas - take advantage of the end of the year sales, check out all the eating places that are 1) extremely popular and usually too crowded on weekends, and 2) those that I really wanted to try out but obligations didn’t allow. We also were supposed to shop for the rest of the baby stuff. I wanted to spring-clean and re-organize my wardrobe. Instead we spent much of the week in bed, alternating between dozing, wheezing and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Quality sleep has been a little hard coming these days. My belly tends to jut out straight and long vs. sideways (people standing behind me can't tell I'm pregnant, even at almost 8 months), and sleeping on my back is a no-no, so my stomach muscles are having a really hard time supporting my tummy when I sleep on my side. I've been waking up several times a night with really bad abdominal pain.

And let's not get me started on really weird and traumatizing dreams. I dreamt I hurt Boo (badly), of really horrible things happening to AK, of me not being able to handle the delivery..geez, what else does my subconscious have in store for me???

Add the blocked nose/super painful sore throat and periodic hot flashes throughout the night, and well, let’s just say it hasn’t been an easy few weeks.

Work has not let up either - there was this big review on the project I'm working on, and if I wasn't stressing about lack of sleep and being sick it was this.

 

Well, today's the last day of that review, and after all that travelling in November and December, working late and through my leave (yes, even while sick), it's almost done. I actually slept through most of the night yesterday – so am thinking that the weird combination of stress and my hormones produced the bout of nightmares. Well, let’s hope that’s the end of it.

So. I can finally really enjoy my weekends and - for goodness' sake - get back to the day to day stuff. Oh – and very importantly, prep my team for my upcoming absence.

I just wish I could take a few more days off, you know? - With the sickness and the knowledge of having to return to work, to the review, it wasn't exactly the break I envisioned. Sigh.

But the fact is that with handovers a-waiting and trying to get stuff closed (or cleaned up) before I leave for 3 months, taking another long period of absence before my maternity leave is kinda unthinkable right now. On the bright side, I will be working fewer hours and at my own pace.

So, welcome 2015. We didn’t start off on the right foot, but am sure things are looking up from herewith.

Oh, and what’s New Year’s without a list of things I want to be/achieve/do/start?

Below, not resolutions at all. I mean, sure, I want my team to perform better than what we did last year, I want to spend more time developing some people and showcasing others, I want to live in the moment, lose all the baby weight (and more), continue doing yoga - you get the picture. 

But there’s also this list – a bunch of really frivolous stuff I want to just because I’ll be happy doing them:

1) Make calcium-fortified chocolate pudding for snacking. I want to eat chocolate all the time. Might as well get some (more) nutrition in. This recipe is so easy, so quick, fulfills my calcium needs and my chocolate cravings. It's not the most luxurious or sophisticated of puddings, I'll admit - but it does fill the need.

 2) Finally get down to reading CJ Sansom's new book, Heartstone. I've written about Dissolution and Dark Fire before. CJ Sansom is one of my all time favourite authors and I am so thrilled that he wrote another 2 books after Revelation. I can’t think of any activity more pleasurable than spending quiet weekend afternoons immersed in Tudor mystery.

3) Take morning/evening walks. When I wasn’t sick I was saving my energy for work. I really need to move more before baby E arrives.

4) Make bakua at home, inspired by this and this. AK loves the stuff, but I don't let him buy as much as he would like to for fear of preservatives, colouring and fat. With Chinese New Year a peep away, what better time to attempt this?

Recipe: Super-easy Low-Fat High-Calcium Chocolate Pudding

1 litre skim or low/non-fat calcium-fortified milk
2/3 cup plus 3 tbsp sugar (I used natural brown sugar)
3/4 cup Dutch-Processed cocoa
5 tbsp cornstarch
2 oz dark chocolate, broken into pieces

Separate one cup of milk in a jug/bowl. Prepare a heatproof container for storing the pudding, and a piece of microwaveable wrap/parchment paper big enough to cover the contents of the container.

Meanwhile, sift the cocoa into a thick-bottomed saucepan large enough to hold all the milk. Add the sugar. Pour the remaining milk into the saucepan and slowly bring to the boil, whisking all the time to combine everything.

When the mixture starts bubbling slightly, add the cornstarch to the reserved jug of milk, whisking vigorously to remove lumps and pour the mixture into the milk-cocoa mixture. Toss in the dark chocolate chunks.

Continue whisking the mixture over medium heat until the mixture thickens into a custard-like texture. Off the heat, immediately transfer the mix into the container. Press the piece of wrap/parchment onto the mixture onto the top of the pudding mix - this prevents the forming of a skin. Let it cool, then transfer to the fridge.

Serve cold, with sliced bananas, or whipped cream, chopped/sliced almonds - whatever takes your fancy.

 

 



Super-easy low-fat high-calcium chocolate pudding in the making

Year end reflections

Today, on Monday 22nd of December 2014, I am on my annual leave. I managed to re-arrange my maid visit to the morning instead of the usual night session, and the maid who turned up turned out to be a little miracle. My home is shiny and clean and I bask in it, whilst the rain pours outside, the closest you'd get to winter in Malaysia in December. Boo is as usual all curled up on his blanket on the sofa.

This time of year, before the family reunion, after the feast with friends, amidst the gift preparations (just delivered some homemade XO sauce, granola and freshly baked vanilla butter cake with relatives yesterday), I manage to sneak in moments of reflection, thought and above all, gratitude.

Work has been very much a pain at times, but I am grateful all the same for the opportunity to contribute, to collaborate, for the means to live the life we want.

For my funny family. My dad and mum who adorably whatsapped their entire day itineraries whilst on vacation, for my brothers, with whom I swap ideas for Christmas presents for the 'rents, and the first people I told (other than the husband of course) when I first discovered I was pregnant. And the shared joy once I announce the gender of the baby.

For our Boo, who as of this year has been with us for 8 joyous, laughter filled years. Boo who cannot seem to lose weight despite starting his low fat diet, Boo who would come in between us and meow loudly/drop and roll his fat self on the floor when we argue, as if to distract us or tell us to stoppit, Boo who hogs pillows. Boo who loves house guests and will sit on their lap/rub himself against them/tag along house tours, no matter if the guest welcomes it or not. Boo who spends quiet weekend mornings with mama while she relaxes with her morning drink. Boo who immediately comforts his papa when he slipped down the stairs. Boo, without whom our home life would not be complete.

For the husband and our growing little family. For the husband who can't wait for the arrival of his daughter. The husband who gives the best career/work advice. Whom I force to tuck me in and adjust my maternity pillow when I go to bed. The husband who makes a mean hot chocolate, who gives in to almost everything I ask for (boy am I going to be sorry this pregnancy will soon come to an end). Who assembled the baby stroller the day we bought it. Who just can't wait to be a daddy.

And to our little one. I wrote this during my lunch break some time ago, and shall leave it as is -  a moment when my feelings were captured in words.

I think I finally get it.

The way I see it, pregnant mothers are divided into two camps – the mushy, I feel so connected, glowy  group and the poor long-suffering one . I think I finally figured out which one I belong to.
The baby kicks and rolls. She kicks and jabs during my meetings, and sometimes it's all I can do to sit there with a straight face, trying not to jump/wiggle from the sudden discomfort. Sometimes I feel that she does it when I am most agitated, as if she is trying to distract me. Or even that she is trying to get me to speak out more.

She somersaults during my shopping walks, causing me sometimes to pause and grab my belly - just to be sure everything is still OK.

When I am alone, as I was in the past two weeks during the evenings in the hotel after my work in the fabrication yard, she makes sure her presence is felt.

It's just so awesome. More than awesome - I feel like a mum. A mum. I confess, I’m still not sure if mum and me are a fit.

Now, almost every night, I lay in bed and expose my belly, and watch the bump rock and jiggle, and laugh.

So yes, I finally get it. I hardly think about whether I will get back to my pre-pregnancy size anymore. Instead I worry about her nutrition, whether I will be able to breastfeed her, whether whatever I am putting in my mouth, or physical activity I do, will affect her.

My mum's Awesome Chicken Wings

The most awesome recipe for the most addictive wings, courtesy of my culinary genius mum.

It all started when my dad, anxious about his upcoming stint alone when I deliver (my mum plans to come stay with us for one month once baby is born), decided that he absolutely needed an air fryer to cook meals for himself while my mum's away.

So of course they got one pronto, and mum started experimenting with it. We tried air frying potato chips (they turn soggy very fast once out the fryer), and my mum also tried frying some other stuff.

The other day she sent me a picture of the wings she made and they looked so good, I thought of re-creating them for our Christmas gathering. And they were such a hit - the first item to finish (well after the guacamole)! And the guests sang praises of them. My only regret is I didn't make more.



Gotta love her

As you can see she didn't really give precise measurements. I took note of what I used and how much, so here goes:

Recipe for 20 wings

20 chicken wings (with drummets)
A little peanut oil

Marinade:
-  1 cup light soy sauce
-  3-4 large shallots, peeled, quartered and crushed lightly
-  6 large cloves garlic, peeled and crushed lightly
- 3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
- 1 tbsp red pepper flakes
- 1 tbsp each garlic and onion powders
- 4 tbsp soft brown sugar

Pat dry the wings. Combine the marinade ingredients in a ziploc bag large enough to fit all the wings, else divide into 2 bags. Marinate the wings overnight, refridgerated

Preheat oven to 180 deg C. Remove the wings from the marinade and let them sit and come to room temperature, about 30minutes. Pat them dry again with paper towels. You will need a roasting pan with a rack. Line the pan with foil (trust me you will want to do this as the sugar in the marinade will be your undoing), place the rack on, place the wings on the rack.

Roast for 20-30 minutes. I removed them after 20 minutes and re-arranged then to ensure each wing was sufficiently golden/dark brown and glossy.




Don't you wish???

 

Celebration!!

It's December, my favourite time of the year!

I bought a large tree (after, like 3 trips to 3 different malls), and went for (I'd like to believe) a silver, gold and winter theme with icicles, silver balls and translucent angel wings. Unfortunately I broke 2 icicles, and the weekly maid another 3 :(. Note to self: Perhaps it's not such a good idea to buy glass ornaments. Next year will get another set of lights and more ornaments, so the tree doesn's look so bald.

We hosted a Christmas gathering amongst colleagues/friends, with a heated gift exchange that included steals and bargains, and then played Taboo.

I ordered a turkey from Hank's Fine Foods. Ordering was a bit of a hassle in the beginning, but the turkey turned out pretty good actually - moist and tasty white meat! Such a rarity. I made my own mushroom gravy to go with as well - pretty easy. Caramelize chopped onions, then add chopped mushrooms (I used portabellos and brown mushrooms) and saute. I soaked dried porcini in hot water, then strained the mushroom liquid and finely sliced in the porcini for extra umph. Grate in a clove of garlic, leave to simmer for 20 minutes. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Voila.

Some other things I made:

- My guacamole, which our prep crew took to snacking on before the party started, and finished waaay too early. I should've made more! Next time next time.

- Mushroom pasta. Saute sliced brown and portabello mushrooms in olive oil, add chopped garlic. Let the mushrooms cook down. Add cooked pasta and a bit of the pasta water. I used about 5 cups of sliced mushrooms to one 400 g packet of spaghetthi. Toss over low heat, then add lots of freshly grated parmesan. I used my large oval Le Creuset to cook the mushrooms and toss the pasta with, and then as a serving vessel. Just before serving, sprinkle with freshky chopped parsley.

- My mum's awesome chicken wings, which is the subject of another post. They went down so fast I didn't even get to eat any!

- Early grey jelly with oranges and pomengrenate seeds

- Fudgy brownies using my favourite recipe

Some lessons I learnt on hosting:-

1) Get friends involved. We had one friend who was a general helper, helping to chop, slice, basically do anything I wanted doing. Another friend made his delicious rocket and avocado salad with olive and balsamic dressing, and artfully arranged the crudites in glass jars you see below. Yet another guy offered to make his Mojitos (virgin ones for me and another pregnant guest), which got the party started pretty nicely. You don't have to do it all yourself - and since our friends were guests as well, there was plenty of joking and mingling way before the party even started proper.

2) Prep as much as you can beforehand - I sliced my mushrooms, marinated my wings and made the gravy the night before. I also made desserts the night before. The day itself - roasted the wings, made the pasta and guacamole. With my friends around to lend a hand, this was easy and we had plenty of time to drink mojitos and snack on aforementioned chips and guacamole before everyone else arrived.

3) More is better than less! I would've liked to make more pasta, more guacamole, more wings - they went down so fast! And maybe order a ham. Again, something to keep in mind for next year

All in all, it was a good night. I know hosting something of the like is going to be a challenge next year with the baby and everything, but I'd love to make it an annual tradition. We'll see.

My precious gifts under my gold and silver tree - Boo's like, "Whatcha doin under MY tree??"

Turkey and "stuffing" from Hank's, homemade mushtoom gravy (in the large glass bowl), salad and mushroom pasta (left, partly visible only)

Our staircase - note that my Yogja skull has his Santa hat on!

Turkey from Hank's Fine foods - surprisingly tasty white meat. I would order this again.

The most artfully arranged crudites by our friend (veggies to be eaten with bought cheese dips), homemade guacamole with corn chips.

Mushroom Pasta

Boo staking his place under the tree again

Group photo of the night

Five months, and I'm wondering

The belly decided to show itself in full force in Month Number Six! And let's not go into details about my worst fear - arse expansion. For someone who used to be in complete control of her body, I find all of this to be new and terribly frightening. Pants that used to hang on me can't fit anymore. What if they never fit me again?? The horror!

But she's kicking, people! And squirming and doing somersaults. At least, that's what it feels like sometimes. We don’t know for sure if she’s a she, but we know she’s growing well, has developed a healthy spine, and – as all the lab tests show – is showing no indications of slowing down. 

Work has been a little crazy - so much management attention on this not so little project I'm in, especially in the space I'm responsible for.

I have had to remind myself not to get too negative at times. I’ve also subconsciously taken a step back sometimes in terms of my emotional investment in my work, because I was worried I was letting the pressure get to me and it would affect the pregnancy.

And this bothers me.

 

I have always been emotionally invested about my work – to me that’s part and parcel of my success so far. How does one put 101% and go the distance, otherwise? Work takes up most of my waking hours, and – whether I like to admit it or not - defines my very person. I (still) am ambitious and I make no apologies for it.

And so I've been thinking a lot about Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer.

Today I declined going to the construction site - not because I can't, but because I thought it was an unnecessary risk for me, my baby and the company to take.

Now I am wondering if it was the right thing to do. Sheryl Sandberg writes about "Leaning In", and not leaving the table until you've actually left the table. Did I just leave the table?

The construction site

It didn't start out like that, for sure. When I first discovered I was pregnant, I was determined to continue Leaning In. In my first trimester I travelled almost every week. I made it a point to put on my coveralls and visit the construction site, climbing over scaffolding and dodging heavy loads. I would always utter a prayer of thanks when I boarded the plane back home. It took enough from me to get through normal office days, much less athose that began before sun-up with a red eye flight and ending with me reaching home well after my first trimester bedtime. But I endured it all, for fear of missing out.

 

I have/would never call myself a feminist. I just want equal opportunity and no special treatment. I have seen some so-called career women manipulate terrified PC bosses into allowing them to deliver (as in work) practically nothing at to take days off at every whim and fancy - at the expense of their (mostly male and single female) co-workers. I have vowed never to be one of those women. I will  carry my own weight (in addition to the baby one - haha).

Look at the women people who condemned Marissa Mayer when she announced her plan to take just a few weeks off work (and work remotely during all that time off). As one of the commentators in this dialogue remarked “She has a legal obligation to maximize corporate profits for her shareholders. She’s not gotten to where she is today by forgetting her duties as a CEO.” I think that hit the nail on the head. I sometimes think that women forget that there is a job to be done. The world doesn’t stop because you have a baby. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. There is a business to be run and you are (or were) just one of the cogs in that gigantic machine.

 

But then again, maybe it's not that simple. There's a definite slowdown I feel in myself. Chalk it up to pregnancy exhaustion, or hormones, or just the fact that there's a little person inside of me who will be totally dependent on me and I need to be thinking more of her and less of everything else.

 

I guess there's no easy, straightforward answers - except to make as much time as possible, get help, and top fretting the small things (translation: our house is a lot messier than it used to be)

In the meantime, I shall give thanks for the fact that we can afford to hire a helper; that all signs point to AK wanting to be a hands-on dad; that our parents are so supportive and ever ready to lend a hand. I don't think I could ask for anything more. In the meantime I've re-started my early morning routines to try and catch some exercise time (to avoid the backaches that start appearing once I stop), so I can work late with the exercise part done for the day.

There's only so much you can prepare for really, mentally and otherwise. I will just have to navigate my wildly swinging feelings towards my child and my career. Onward to the unknown!

Pregnancy Joy

One of my friends, who has a two year-old and just delivered her second, encouraged me to document my thoughts and feelings throughout my pregnancy.

There's so much talk and information online on pregnancy hormones, antenatal depression, etc, etc. I don't know.

All I feel is happy.

I just feel so incredibly blessed right now. I get offered little tips and anecdotese from young mums all round the office pouring in, my parents constantly calling to check on how I feel, friends we go out with so eager to accomodate where I want to eat.

Most of all, my husband has been so incredibly supportive and downright joyful that we're finally getting the child he longs for so much, it's infectious. I think our cat has caught onto his excitement, I kid you not.

Sure, there's still fear, from the superficial (how am I going to get by on less than 7 hours of sleep at night) to world-weary (just look at the spate of bad news - child abuse, kidnappings, racial intolerance, ISIS - why would I want to bring a child into this kind of world? How do I protect her?).

But there's also excitement, and the feeling of growing and infinite love, that it will be more than OK in the end.

Miri Memories, and Sarawak Laksa

Current Obsession: Eating Asia.

 

Reading Robin Eackhart's writing makes me nostalgic for Miri and its humble vibrancy. The daily tamu's (markets), where they sell everything from live fish, sago worms, mud crabs, crocodile-skin fruit, where I used to buy rambutans by the tonne (I exaggerate of course).

 

I have of course come to realize, cooped here in my big city, how much more I miss Miri than having to drive only 5 minutes to and from work every day.

 

I miss the tamu's, where were weather-beaten little old ladies sell handwoven baskets and traditionaly beaded Christmas ornaments.

 

Where the locals' favourite vegetables grow wild (midin or jungle fern) - stuff that grew in the drains and ditches.

 

I used to love the dependencies (and respect) the locals had on the wild, the rusticity of it all - we had neighbours who kept chickens and slaughtered them for food. We must have been the only family that didn't have a small vegetable patch in our garden. A monitor lizard and catfish lived in the neighbourhood drains (we occassionaly saw the big guy swim languidly by - but he never bothered us). It was an almost daily even to spot electric blue kingfishers sometimes. And - oh, Miri didn't have crows, it had storks! Pure white birds everywhere. Sometimes we even spotted a hornbill or two.

 

I wish I captured more of the local wildlife and lifestyles, in words and photos.

 

The fact that I would spot men with nets and rods harvesting krill and catching mudcrabs and catfish on my drive home, where the ground is so fertile it's easy to live off the land. Where they warn you about crocodiles in the local park lake.

 

I loved it all, I confess. I loved our kindly neighbours, the gentle Sarawakian spirit, the muhibbah-ness of the place - where, truly, people of all races and religions live in harmony.

 

I also loved Sarawak Laksa - white rice noodles in a sour, coconut-milk broth flavoured with the essence of prawns and jazzed up with chilli and lime. Garnishes are strips of egg omelette, strips of poached chicken breast, prawns, beansprouts and coriander. It is about the only Sarawakian food I really miss. I could do without kolok mee (kinda like wan tan mee without the wan tan, hence loses its point), red wine mee sua or wild boar (Sarawakians are obsessed with wild boar, I don't know why).

 

And since my pregnancy cravings are hitting me full on, I decided I had to make my own version. I needed a good supply!

 

I researched online and to my surprise, there isn't a real recipe for the Sarawak laksa spice paste. Apparently it's a closely guarded secret, and even the manufacturers are few and between. Oh when will they sell a Sarawak-laksa flavoured instant noodle??

 

So the paste had to be bought - good thing a friend was visiting Miri and so I got him to get me two packs. 1 pack feeds about 6. The rest of the recipe was gleaned from here and here. I decided that mine would be kinda a hybrid of both.

 

We invited AK's parents and my youngest brother over for dinner, and it went down pretty well, I have to say. My brother kept saying how much he loved it, and my in-laws told me to open a stall :P. The recipe below fed the five of us pretty generously, with enough leftover gravy for another 2 servings the day after - just nice for AK and I. I think a repeat is definitely in order!

 

 

Notes:

- I was pretty generous with the prawns - you can use smaller prawns and reduce the amount.

- You can also use thick coconut milk, or add more milk if you like a richer gravy. Reduce the gravy further if you plan to do so, so as not to dilute the taste too much).

 

Here's my version of the recipe:

 

Laksa gravy:

1 packet "Eagle Brand" Sarawak Laksa spice paste (300g)
700g large prawns. Remove the heads, peel and devein them. Reserve the heads and shells.
2 bonesless and skinless chicken breasts
2 litres chicken stock (I used water and a generous few dashes of concentrate)
300 ml coconut milk

 

Condiments:

4 eggs, beaten with a little soy sauce

4 cups beansprouts, tailed
Enough rice noodles (beehoon) for 6 persons
2-3 sprigs coriander, chopped

 

To serve with:

sambal belachan
lime halves

To make the gravy, bring the chicken stock to a boil. Add the chicken breasts, lower the heat to a gentle simmer and poach the breasts until cooked (about 15 minutes).

 

Remove the breasts. Once cooled, shred them using 2 forks (or your hands). Set aside - this is to be a condiment.

 

Bring the stock back to the boil. Meanwhile, heat a pan with a little oil. Fry the reserved prawn shells and heads until caramelized. Add this mixture (make sure you get all that orange prawn-infused oil into the pot) to the stock. Add the spice mix and lower the heat. Simmer for an hour.

 

Blend up the soup (I highly recommend using an immersion blender, this saves the trouble of emptying hot soup into a blender in batches - because I doubt any blender is large enough to accomodate a large pot of gravy). Strain the gravy into another pot and keep warm. Before serving, bring back to a boil and add the coconut milk.  Lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.

 

Make a thin omelette from the eggs (I had to do 2 omelettes as I wanted them thin and my pan wasn't that big).

 

Before serving, poach the peeled prawns in the laksa gravy (about 5 minutes) until cooked. Blanch the noodles (1-2 minutes) and the beansprouts (30 seconds) separately.

 

To serve, let people help themselves to noodles, beansprouts, omelette strips, chicken strips and prawns. Ladle the hot gravy over. Garnish with coriander. Add sambal and lime to increase spice and sourness levels accordingly.