Thoughts for this Lenten season

Mass in Seville, Spain

Which is not to say I have really thought of it in the past. Most of the time I don't do anything differently for Lent, to be honest.

I guess you could call me a reluctant Catholic. My mum, bless her determination, would wake me up at 6 am on Sundays to drag me to morning mass, my baby brother in tow. I attended Cathechism since the age of five, right up to my Confirmation when I turned sixteen.

There was a time in my (angsty) teenage years that I seriously considered joining another non-Catholic church. There were plenty of well-monied families in this parish, and that meant plenty of stylish, clique-y teenagers. My peers judged each other on the brand of each others' clothes, on how many members of the opposite sex they were friends with..the pressure was immense. I felt lonely and inadequate. I envied my friends in their other churches their allowances for casual dressing, their livelier, more upbeat services.

Now that I am older, most of my teenage insecurities are gone. And I know it really isn't right to say this, but my love for church oscillates with the parish priest. I used to go to a church in Miri where all the sermons the parish priest gave were on how guilty we should all feel for just spending an hour in church a week, for being uncomfortable in the stuffy church which was clearly undersized for the size of its congregation. I despised irresponsible leaders for preaching that "gays are just odd/weird/wrong" so dismissively to children, paving the way to mindless, "programmed" discrimination.

I still disagree with many of the teachings of the Catholic Church, like banning contraception and abortion in totality. I think no woman should be made to endure bringing up the child of her rapist. I think a child is better off unborn than to parent(s) who will mistreat or neglect them. I think divorce is better than subjecting children to a failed relationship, or even the affected couple to a lifetime of misery and bitterness. I believe that being homosexual is not a choice, that God made some of us this way. There, I said it. I believe in Evolution, that the Seven Days of Creation in the bible are not literally seven days, but seven generations of evolution that lead up to Adam and Eve, Homo Sapiens. I believe that the Word of the Bible, because it is written by man, is not to be taken literally. God gave us judgement and rationale and instinct, and that is what we should be applying every day and to these eternal debates. I believe that Science complements religion, not contradicts it, that it always has, just that most of us refuse to see it out of sheer convenience.

In Subang the parish priest encourages his brethren to speak up against dirty and unjust politics, and embodies the very spirit of Vatican II, where for the very first time, the Church admits that there is more than one way to reach God. Gone is the old teaching where the only path to the Kingdom of Heaven is through embracing Christ. Gone are the days when the number of candles on the altar mattered. Charity, in the light and shadow of Mother Theresa is what matters. Actions that truly affect the poor and the suffering, instead of just prayers and fasting. Real impact to real people. Standing up against injustices, like corruption and bullying. I have never felt prouder to be Catholic, not when the other Christian denominations are still threatening people with eternal damnation of they fail to convert now.

Spirituality is a mysterious thing, and so it should be.

Like I said, 'tis the season of Lent after all, and in the light of the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, perhaps this season of (traditionally) fasting and prayer can mean much, much more than just bettering our spiritual selves.

Article from the New York Times.

Give Up Your Pew for Lent

By PAUL ELIE

AT 8 p.m. last night in Vatican City, Benedict XVI resigned the papacy. Now American Catholics should consider resigning too.

The conventional wisdom has it that Benedict’s resignation sharply reduced the aura of the papal office, showed a tender realism about old age, and made clear that even ancient Catholic practices could be changed. That is all true, but the event’s significance is more visceral than that. It has caught the mood of the church, especially in North America.

Resignation: that’s what American Catholics are feeling about our faith. We are resigned to the fact that so much in the Roman Catholic Church is broken and won’t be fixed anytime soon.

So if the pope can resign, we can, too. We should give up Catholicism en masse, if only for a time.

We are in the third week of Lent, a six-week season of reflection and personal sacrifice when Christians prepare for Easter by taking stock of their religious lives. In recent centuries Roman Catholics have observed Lent by giving up a habit or pleasure, whether red meat, chocolate, soap operas or Facebook, to simplify their lives and regain their independence from worldly attractions — their religious freedom, if you like.

Two years ago, Stephen Colbert gave up Catholicism itself. As the comedian told it, he swore off Catholicism on Ash Wednesday and made it as far as Good Friday, when he went on a “Catholic bender.” His riff inverted the old saying that history repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second as farce. Mr. Colbert beat the pope to the punch.

In traditional parlance, Benedict’s resignation leaves the Chair of St. Peter “vacant.” So I propose that American Catholics vacate the pews this weekend.

We should seize this opportunity to ask what is true in our faith, what it costs us in obfuscation and moral compromise, and what its telos, or end purpose, really is. And we should explore other religious traditions, which we understand poorly.

For the Catholic Church, it has been “all bad news, all the time” since Benedict took office in 2005: a papal insult to Muslims; a papal embrace of a Holocaust denier; molesting by priests and cover-ups by their superiors. When the Scottish cardinal Keith O’Brien resigned on Monday amid reports of “inappropriate” conduct toward priests in the 1980s, the routine was wearingly familiar. It’s enough to make any Catholic yearn to leave the whole mess for someone else to clean up.

Benedict, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, is a theologian. He would not have stepped down if he did not think he was setting a sound precedent: a resignation prompted by physical, not institutional, weakness. That he felt free to resign suggests that he thinks the church is doing fine. But countless ordinary Catholics know otherwise.

That is why this Sunday, I won’t be at the Oratory Church of St. Boniface in Downtown Brooklyn, even though I love it there — a welcoming, open-minded, authentically religious place.

Instead, I’ll be at the Brooklyn Meeting of the Quakers, who have long invited volunteers from our church to serve food to the poor.

Or I’ll be at the Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew, an Episcopal congregation that hosted the Occupy movement’s relief efforts after Hurricane Sandy.

Or I’ll go to the Zen Mountain Monastery at Mount Tremper, in the Catskills.

Or I’ll be in Washington, with colleagues who attend Shabbat services at Georgetown, the first American Catholic university and the first (four decades ago) to engage a full-time rabbi.
Or I’ll knock on the door of the Masjid Ibadul-Rahman, a mosque on my block, or the Zion Shiloh Baptist Church, across the street, or L’Église Baptiste d’Expression Française, on the corner.

I hope and expect to return to the Oratory church the following Sunday. But I can’t be sure. To some degree, it’s out of my hands, a response to a calling.

A temporary resignation would be a fitting Lenten observance. It would help believers to purify and deepen our faith in the light of our neighbors’ — “to examine our own religious notions, to sound them for genuineness,” as the American writer Flannery O’Connor put it. It would let us begin to figure out what in Catholicism we can take and what we can and ought to leave. It might even get the attention of the cardinals who will meet behind the locked doors of the Sistine Chapel and elect a pope in circumstances that one hopes would augur a time of change.
And it might dispel the resignation we feel. Most ordinary believers have given up hope that the church will change its ways. But Benedict’s resignation reminds us of a truth we have known all along: change in the church can happen, even dramatically. If so hidebound an institution as the papacy can be changed, what can’t be?

Paul Elie, a senior fellow in the Berkley Center for Religion, Peace and World Affairs at Georgetown, is the author, most recently, of “Reinventing Bach.”

The Venue

I almost wish I could say that AK surprised me with a proposal in Venice (we were there in 2011), but the truth is that we've been together for so long, we really mutually decided that it was time to get married. He did get down on one knee though - in a quiet, beautifully lit little cobblestone street next to a canal that reflected the moonlight, the wind making us shiver and cling even more closely to each other. I still savour that moment at times.

And man, am I going to need that memory.

If it were up to me, I'd just register our civil marriage, maybe have a church solemnisation and be done with it. But of course, as I was duly informed by a good friend, a wedding isn't really about the bride (let's not even start about the groom), it's about the relatives and the mothers of the bride and groom and the friends of the parents and all those EXPECTATIONS...well, if you're Chinese (or a gypsy) you get the idea. I'm sorry to say this but weddings are a big pain in the a**, and Chinese weddings are the worst. I cringe at the thought of being the center of attention, of waltzing down the aisle in a white gown, of showing poeple slideshows of my baby photos, of all that people being there in one place, for me. It just seems awfully self-centered and attention-seeking. Why why oh why?

I'm sorry. I really intended for this post to showcase our progress so far - we've booked our venue in KL, which nicely balances our budget and my (not so secret) intention for as minimally Chinese a a venue as possible. Since the photos on the website don't really do enough justice to the place, I've taken the liberty of lifting some photos off the web.

Source

 

Source


Dear God, please let me make it down the stairs without tripping on my face.

A few things

I usually get pretty depressed returning from a trip to Penang. I still miss my lau juak (as in always ready for a little fun/celebration/meal) dad, my do-it-all supermum, and friendly (crazy) banter with my two brothers (the three of us drove from KL to Penang telling hilarious stories, reminiscising about our childhoods and singing along to Queen (we disturbingly knew the lyrics to this retro number and Matchbox Twenty)
This time though returning from Penang it wasn't as bad as I expected. The drive back yesterday was painless, with the almost empty highway and cloudy (neither too hot nor was it raining - i.e. perfect) weather. I joined some friends for dinner and a raucous gambling session, and today we're going to finalise our house plans with the contractor.

Here are the other little and not-so-little things making me smile this past week.

The Church of The Immaculate Conception all decked up for the Lunar New Year

The beautifully lit corridor at the old St Joseph's Novitiate, which has gone from hosting LaSalle novices to housing hip eateries

Unexpected (stormy) weather right after lunch at Gurney Paragon

Our friend's pretty seasonal (DIY) flower arrangement

Morning sweetness

Came back to KL to find that AK has sorted out my skincare and makeup (previously haphazardly strewn on the shelf) into the baskets we bought in Manila. And no, we didn't have to wait for the new house to put them to good use.

Messin' round Manila, and a lament or two

When we told friends and family that we were planning to spend our long weekend in Manila, most people assumed it was a transit point to more, er, touristically appealing places, like Boracay or Cebu. Our colleagues who had been there regaled us with tales of being scalped by everyone from cab drivers to makeshift tour guides to random people on the street, of gunfights and general lawlessness.

Well, it did happen as soon as we arrived, we paid 3 times more the going rate for our cab ride from the rather shabby airport to our hotel.

Just a few highlights of our trip:




Fried and grilled seafood at the Landmark Mall food court

1) Food here is waaaaay cheaper than in KL. A nice big grilled sotong (squid - super fresh, and charcoal grilled to perfection) in a nice clean mall food court in the heart of Manila (Landmark mall, next to Glorietta and Greenbelt) costs about 700 PHP or about RM4. We feasted on mostly pork (they do very nice lechon or grilled pork), stuffed crabs, and fish. I have to say though, unlike in Malaysia where the flavours are a riot in your mouth and the use of spices and seasonings (lemongrass, tumeric, cloves, chillies, etc.) is more of a commonality than a rarity, Pinoy seasoning seems to be limited to sugar and fish sauce. We also tried pasig (sizzling pork innards - not my favourite), as well as a myriad of desserts - caramel tarts from Goldilocks and suman (glutinous rice with assorted fillings). I could not really eat much though - too rich and almost one-dimensional tastes meant that I gradually ate less and less the more days I spent there.



Above the gate into Fort Santiago is St James, patron saint of Intramuros, defeating his Muslim enemies. Ironic because before the Spanish came, the Philippines was a Muslim state

Entering Fort Santiago

2) Intramuros is the historical former Spanish quarter part of town. Tell the cabbie to bring you to the Manila Cathedral, the tallest monument in Intramuros. It is worth signing up for the Walk This Way (If These Walls Could Talk) walking tour, hosted by the irreverent Carlos Celdran, whose passion for his city is downright infectious. He takes you into Fort Santiago, seats you down on the grass and regales you with tales of Jose Rizal, the Filipino nationalist whose critique of the Spanish friars' abuses in the Philippines during colonial rule earned him the execution squad, and subsequently an overthrow of Spanish rule. He then goes on to American colonism (did you know that the Philippines was once in the running to be the 53rd state?), how American town planning know-how, capitalist philosophies and excellent work ethics helped develop Manila into the most beautiful and advanced city in SE Asia, a true gateway between East and West. Asia's first airline was Air Philippines. Manila housed the first Asian cinema. I didn't know that. Then came World War II and a certain General McArthur, and Manila became the epicenter of the war between the Imperial Army and Navy of Japan and their American counterparts, and her people suffered dearly for it. The second most devastated city after Warsaw, Manila never really recovered after that.

I am so thankful we (I mean I - AK usually leaves the itineraries to me) chose to splurge on the tour (which, at 1100 PHP was expensive by Manila standards - government tours were going for half the price), I never ever knew or even realised how much the Filipino people suffered in a war that they were never a real part of. I don't understand why the Battle of Manila, and the Manila Massacres do not make a much larger part of our local South-East Asian history. Ironic that I know so much more about the Rape of Nanking, of the bombing of Dresden, of the Blitz in London, than I know about the utter devastation of my neighbour. A real shame indeed.

I will also add that at the current moment of writing, Carlos Celdran, the dreamer and leader of this tour, has just been sentened to jail for "offending religious feelings". He mentioned his opposition to theocracy in his tour briefing, and quite openly criticized the dominance and influence of the Catholic Church in the Philippines. I pray that the charges will be dropped, all he did was try and demonstrate against the influence of the Church in local politics. Manila and the Philippines will lose a man who has done more for city and its tourism industry than any of those self-righteous prosecutors ever will.

Chursh of St Augustine, Red Cross headquarters during the war and one of Intramuros's
 few survivors during the Battle of Manila

Festive greetings

Greetings from Penang island!

Double rainbow shot from the living room balcony at my parents'

Obligatory family photo before heading to Midnight Mass

My Christmas present to myself - fierce new heels

View of the waterfall from my room balcony

Gifts of granola for my aunts

Interlude

Even with the barrage of news that hits us daily, this piece really hit a nerve.
I for one try to keep in touch with world happennings as much as possible. I subscribe to the NYTimes, CNN and Bloomberg are among the 2 apps I use the most on my iPhone. I read books about wars and genocide in Iraq, Africa, South America and Cambodia. So you could say that I am no stranger to sensasionalist news.

But these were children (all 6 - 7 years old). What struck me here was the senseless slaughter of innocents that could have been avoided. This opinion piece says everything I feel about guns in America and the policies that govern them. There is a human cost to so-called freedom.

We will forever be moved by the heroic acts of the brave teachers who put themselves in between the gunman and the children. But, tragically, unless something changes, there will always be heroes. There will always be senseless deaths and there will always be the grappling for answers.

My hope is that these women and children will be remembered not for the senselessness of the very act, not for the statistics, but for the begininng of real change in America.

Gifting 2012

Above, an assortment of gifts I have been putting together since November.

I love this time of the year, can you tell?

First of all, though, a little caveat. I write this post from the point of view of a largely bored, cynical and worldly (at least I'd like to think so - do indulge me) late-twenties/early thirty-something who doesn't have kids.

Lots of us love to travel and would consider ourselves flashpackers, so a nod to that love of seeing the world would be nice. A universal adaptor, luggage tags, collapsible travel bag – all infinitely useful and will hopefully remind your recipient of the person who thoughtfully gifted that. One of my brothers will be getting Lonely Planet’s South East Asia on a Shoestring. Hopefully it will inspire him to great adventures.

I have already lined up a box of sketching graphite pencils for A, my art-loving cousin who gifted me with a painting of his own for my birthday last year. Last Christmas I gave him, after much research, this An Illustrated Life. A joyous collection of vibrant excerpts from the notebooks of 50 illustrators, artists, and designers, each accompanied by an introduction by the artist, who shares his or her thoughts when the sketch was being made. In fact, upon receiving the book after ordering it online, I was most tempted to keep it for myself.

This year, I also thought I'd try putting together a simple Holiday Gift Guide of my own.

I do like to keep some simple principles in mind when gift-hunting, like the gift should be something that the recipient will use, but shouldn't be too practical or everyday either. It should still feel like a treat, you know? Also,  I will try to keep most of the stuff under RM50, which in these days admittedly does not get you very far. I mean, I would love to gift Moleskine journals and L'occitane toiletries to everyone (come to think of it., I did gift my three favourite aunts L'occitane soaps last year, but only because I got them cheap(er) from Europe), but I can't afford to.

So without further ado, below is a little compilation of what I have given in the past, plus the stuff I have come up with this year.

I love the Body Shop for (relatively) reasonably priced gifts that spell pampering and just a little bit more luxe than our everyday pharmacy stuff. One can get a nice fruity lip balm for RM19.00, or an assortment of soaps and shower gels, for RM9 - RM29. It's always nice to have a little something scented with say, satsuma (a sweet Mandarin orange-like scent), or one of their gift packs.

Shower Cream and Body Butter sets for RM29 each

3) For that yuppie younger cousin or relative of yours who loves hanging out at places with free WiFi, a Starbucks or Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf pre-loaded card is always nice. Starbucks' cards start at RM20 and CBTL's at RM25. They throw in some nice top-ups too (you can a free grande drink with every 10 purchase at Starbucks, for example, or collect "beans" to redeem for drinks and food at CBTL). My youngest brother gifted both his elder brother and me with these sometime back, and we all thougth it was super nice (although ironically the card couldn't be used in Sabah/Sarawak and at airports, which at that time, made it pretty tough for me to fully utilize it).

4) When I am truly stumped, I turn to vouchers. Almost no-fail. The only caveat is the recipient will know exactly how much you spent on them. And you can still sort of "direct" the gift somewhat, say books MPH or department stores - Parkson and Isetan to name a few.

And of course, homemade gifts are always nice.

For the health-conscious, I recommend making your own granola. I made a huge batch - 10 cups of oats in total, 2 cups almonds, 1 cup cashews, whole pack of sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds, virgin coconut oil and raw sugar for less RM50 – and they will be divided amongst 3 people. You can bet that I will be doing this more often. Bear in mind mine is a healthier, minimally sweetened version intended for a diabetic relative.  You could of course really schuzz it up (make it sweeter and crisper with more sugar and oil) with maple syrup and brown sugar ala Chubby Hubby or Alton Brown, sub agave nectar or honey even, use canola or olive oil (ala Melissa Clark of the NY Times), add dried fruit, spice it up with cinnamon and/or ginger, the list goes on…

For the bakerina, homemade vanilla extract makes a wonderful gift this side of the woods when real vanilla is truly difficult to locate. Purchase your beans online. Split them open, slice into smaller pieces and place them in a clean airtight jar. Add vodka/dark rum and seal the jar. 5 pods in a cup of alcohol a jar should about do it. It’s a nice way of stretching the beans into a more well thought out gift too.



Lots of folks consider themselves coffee and tea connoisseurs these days. So while a Nespresso machine might be more suited for the wish list rather than the gift one, an Ikea French Press (RM49.90) will do quite nicely I think (there are fancier/more expensive versions available at Starbucks or department stores these days too), or for the folks who enjoy their cappucino caps, a milk frother and jug (RM9.90 and RM9 respectively), would be really appreciated, I imagine.