The Many Stories of Streaky Bacon

I have to confess, I am terrified of getting fat.

I am NO fine-featured, oval-faced nymph - tall for my gender and race, but with bulkier legs that I ever wish. Which is why I believe that my only saving grace is the lack of flesh on my bones.

Pretty much of my life after twenty, I was so health-conscious (read: fat-and-sugar-fearing) I wonder if I missed out on anything. My typical day's worth of meals would be like this:

- Morning: Oatmeal with Anlene (fat-free calcium-fortified milk powder), cinnamon and water; a cup of Nescafe made with the same milk powder, no sugar

- Mid-morning: Half a bowl of fish beehoon soup - rice noodles in a clear soup

- Afternoon: Slice of whole-wheat bread with 1 tablespoon peanut butter, or an apple

Evening: Home-made wheat noodles in clear soup (pan mian), or at home, sardines with spinach (yech)

I could make a small bar of chocolate last for weeks, or a half a cup of fat-free yogurt for tea.

The word "supper" was almost a dirty word, not ever, even though I joined my coursemates outside more often that not; mostly I had tea while they ordered roti planta, roti cheese, nasi lemak with deep fried chicken and the excess crumbs from the coating of the chicken - I stole a couple of bites from my friends. I could look on serenely, happy in the knowing that my concave belly was worth the abstinence.

I'd jump rope at night in my room, swim for miles on weekends, and run up the staircases in campus and to my second-storey bedroom for "bursts" of calorie burning.

Today I take a more liberal approach to food and exercise in general. It's all cool. My priviledged days of foie gras, bacon, chocolate milkshakes and caramel cheesecake seem to happen all too often.

On to the subject. The best bacon I have tried is not from the UK or Spain, it's from Brunei. Granted it's definitely not made in the Muslim-denominated country, but thanks to Brunei Shell and the considerable expat population there, a bulging pack of gorgeous, streaky rashers cost us less than 3 Brunei dollars. Total bargain. And it was - succulent, fatty, juicy and, best of all, yielded a full quarter cup of rendered, flavourful liquid FAT which I smartly used to fry rice for dinner.

I guess there's no need to explain on the cooking of the bacon itself - over a medium low heat in a non-stick pan without any oil, pouring away (into a heatproof container for safekeeping) excess fat, until browned in places. If you have bread, instead of butter, panfry the slices in a small amount of bacon fat (after pouring away most of it) until crisp.

The BEST Fried Rice

1/4 cup bacon fat (rendered)

2 cups cooked rice

1 large onion, sliced (larger slices, don't process to mush)

Anything else to bulk it up - I used beef sausage, sweetcorn, and a small pork fillet I sliced thinly and marinated with sesame oil, soy sauce specially brewed in Penang, a teensy bit of sugar and pepper

Seasoning - I like a mix of Penang home-brewed soy, and Maggie seasoning.

Black or white pepper to taste

1-2 eggs, beaten with the same seasoning mixture as above

Heat the fat and onions in a large non-stick pan/wok. Cook the onions over medium-low heat till soft and translucent.

Add the meats (sausage, meat dice, chicken balls)

Add the rice and a bit of water if it's too dry and crusty

Season liberally and keep on stirring to combine. Make sure you cook off the water.

Taste and season as you go along.

Add the veggies to heat up, stirring frequently.

Serve immediately.